so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Randomize
