it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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