just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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