That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
And my parents said I crawled through the house
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
