the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
