Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
