What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
