There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I think I sprained my soul last night
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
