you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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