you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
