Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
