Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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