so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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