thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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