Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
