I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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