they need to just BURY HIM!
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
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