addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
