I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
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