you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Randomize
