he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
