end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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