He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
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