All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
