i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
