We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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