If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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