the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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