I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
