omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize