...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
