i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize