Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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