somebody snuck up and got me drunk
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
