so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
