Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
