I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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