I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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