We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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