...so i touched it.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
