Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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