I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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