First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
