Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
