I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
