Walk of Shame. In a state park.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
