Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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