he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
operation have a gay friend backfired
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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