I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
