I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
