I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
