i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
The air was thick with penises
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
try to milk me bitch
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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