quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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