HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
