Me too!
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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