is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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