what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
