you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Drake has all the answers
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
