found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
