So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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