why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
