Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
