I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
