Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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