Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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