your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
